The Lollygabber

Excerpt from “Who Wants to Marry a Savant?”

January 12, 2017 at 9:14 pm Leave a comment

As he drove us to Aberdeen to meet a potential client, Carl philosophized: “The opposite of love isn’t hate, Angie.”

“Well, duh. I know that. But what is the opposite of love? I’ve thought about this often without coming close to an answer. It isn’t hate or even lust or rage or cruelty. What the fuck is it?!” I enjoyed sprinkling expletives into our dialogue because, as a Mormon, Carl would always squirm at least a little. At the time, I reveled in the fact that I wielded that kind of power over a man who’d never fuck me.

“Apathy.” Carl sighed. “When she told me she wanted a divorce, Karen explained she had simply ‘fallen out of love’ with me. Everyone thinks she was cheating, but it wasn’t that at all. She didn’t necessarily want to have sex with someone else. She just didn’t ever want to make love to me again.”

“Wow. I’m sorry.” What could I say? He hit the nail on the head: the opposite of love is apathy.

Carl’s profound insight forced me into introspection.  I had endured the entire gamut of emotions in my current relationship, save for one. I was utterly incapable of feeling indifferent toward him. I would always be in love with him.

It suddenly made sense why he’d inspired both the meanest and sweetest poems I’d ever written.

Entry filed under: Excerpt, Fiction, Poetry, Sexuality. Tags: Aberdeen, Fiction, Kurt Cobain, Life, Loss, Love, Marry Savant, Poetry, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, Travel, Washington State.