Posts tagged ‘Sex’

Excerpt from “Who Wants to Marry a Savant?”

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As he drove us to Aberdeen to meet a potential client, Carl philosophized: “The opposite of love isn’t hate, Angie.”

“Well, duh. I know that. But what is the opposite of love? I’ve thought about this often without coming close to an answer. It isn’t hate or even lust or rage or cruelty. What the fuck is it?!” I enjoyed sprinkling expletives into our dialogue because, as a Mormon, Carl would always squirm at least a little. At the time, I reveled in the fact that I wielded that kind of power over a man who’d never fuck me.

“Apathy.” Carl sighed. “When she told me she wanted a divorce, Karen explained she had simply ‘fallen out of love’ with me. Everyone thinks she was cheating, but it wasn’t that at all. She didn’t necessarily want to have sex with someone else. She just didn’t ever want to make love to me again.”

“Wow. I’m sorry.” What could I say? He hit the nail on the head: the opposite of love is apathy.

Carl’s profound insight forced me into introspection.  I had endured the entire gamut of emotions in my current relationship, save for one. I was utterly incapable of feeling indifferent toward him. I would always be in love with him.

It suddenly made sense why he’d inspired both the meanest and sweetest poems I’d ever written.

January 12, 2017 at 9:14 pm Leave a comment

Excerpt from “Who Wants to Marry a Savant?”

He couldn’t decide whether he wanted to knock me up or blow my brains out.

Or both.deranged_film poster

September 29, 2016 at 11:08 pm Leave a comment

Excerpt from “Who Wants to Marry a Savant?”

David N. and I enjoyed exchanging dating horror stories as foreplay. On the precipice of afternoon delight, we rolled around under his sheets (never before had I experienced the feel of super high thread count).

“Oh my god, you won’t believe how my last relationship ended.” I rolled my eyes in reminiscence while clutching David’s shoulders.

“Probably not as badly as when Meredith torched my Beemer.” He smiled and tightened our embrace.

“I’m glad you have a sense of humor about it. I just don’t understand why you never pressed charges.”

“That would’ve meant I’d have to keep dealing with that bitch. And there’d be a public record of the shit she put me through.”

“Fair enough.”

“So what did that dick munch do anyway? Didn’t you tell me you thought he was The One at some point?”

“Nate seemed like a real catch. That is until he got back with his ex. And here’s the thing: I mean, you know I’m not superficial or arrogant . . . but this girl was like a three, maybe a four, soaking wet.”

“Yeah. That’s pretty fucking ridiculous. You’re at least a seven.”

July 2, 2016 at 1:55 am Leave a comment

Letter to My Rapist (Part I)

In the aftermath of Brock Turner’s heinous crimes and Judge Aaron Persky’s revictimization of Emily Doe, a Yale alumna is inspired to communicate with her rapist.

Continue Reading June 9, 2016 at 11:30 pm 1 comment

Excerpt from “Safe Mode”

The opposite of numb (but perhaps with the same result), I plunged so deeply into depression I couldn’t:

drive myself home
pick up a fork
wash my hair
erase my smeared makeup
brush my teeth
swallow 150 mg of relief
pack a bowl
check Facebook
cry
pray
masturbate.

August 11, 2015 at 9:44 pm Leave a comment

Light and Truth: Exhibit B

The following comment was semi-anonymously posted on my blog in response to a 2010 post I wrote on Yale’s DKE incident:

screen shot_lollygabber_comment

Comment away!

See also Light and Truth: Exhibit A.

August 23, 2013 at 12:51 am Leave a comment

Excerpt from “Who Wants to Marry a Savant?”

Having endured over 30 years of alternating waves of adversity and prosperity, I thought I had figured out at least a few things–particularly my sexuality.

While I appreciated the dynamic nature of sexuality, I also felt my sexual orientation had essentially congealed by that point. In other words, I thought I pretty much knew where I stood along the sexuality spectrum.

But the more I got to know Rachael, the more aware I became of the most painful irony: as my biological clock began to chime, I grew exponentially more attracted to women.

August 29, 2012 at 9:57 pm Leave a comment

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