Excerpt from “Safe Mode”

October 19, 2011 at 9:37 pm 6 comments

Professor Heart Attack (not to be confused with Professor Heartache) used to always tell me that the future—and the now (then)—was all about information sharing and social networks. He had a bit of an obsession with Mark Zuckerberg (and, incidentally, with me). He used to tell me things like, “If I were Mark’s father, I’d tell him to marry you.”

It just so happened that I was a freshman at Princeton when Mark Zuckerberg was a freshman at Harvard. (No, I don’t know him personally. I know a handful of people who went to Exeter with him, but whatever. It doesn’t matter.) When I joined Facebook my sophomore (or was it junior?) year in college, back when it was called “The Facebook,” I had no idea what a key role it would play in my undoing.

I used to resent that Professor Heart Attack, more than 30 years my senior and (last time I heard) without a cell phone or personal email account, was so ahead of my time. He was seemingly compassionate, extremely intelligent, not at all attractive, cosmopolitan, wealthy, and—it turns out—deeply insecure and duplicitous. It seemed cruelly ironic that he—of all people—appeared to escape the disaster when most of us had our worlds ripped out from under us.

Of course, he hadn’t anticipated the ultimate irony. Neither had I.

Entry filed under: Excerpt, Fiction, Pop Culture, Sexuality. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , .

Excerpt from “Who Wants to Marry a Savant?” Excerpt from “Safe Mode”

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. jjorta  |  October 19, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    awesome, didn’t see that coming. you are the one that got my into blogging and such. big thanks for that too. plus, no matter what, i’m still socially awkward in life and/or this world wide web thing. great post.


  • 2. Mudd  |  October 20, 2011 at 7:58 am

    That the book I’m gonna read.


  • 3. Randall  |  October 22, 2011 at 7:36 am

    You have a lot of really wonderful articles on your blog. Enjoyed reading them.


    • 4. lollygabber  |  October 23, 2011 at 6:02 pm

      Thank you! I really enjoyed checking out your blog as well.


  • 5. Courtney  |  October 5, 2014 at 9:06 pm

    I love the description of Professor Heart Attack. You wrote a great hook at the end. I want to keep reading. Is Safe Mode a novel? Short story?


  • 6. lollygabber  |  December 18, 2014 at 10:02 pm

    Glad you like it! Safe Mode is a novel. If you enjoy the Professor Heart Attack character, he has a much more prominent role in Who Wants to Marry a Savant?.



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