The Lollygabber

Lolly Gaga’s Weight Loss Tips

February 28, 2010 at 5:50 am Leave a comment

• Go on the two-finger diet  – that way, you can have your cake and not eat it, too! (Says Lolly Gag-gag)
• Contract mono, pneumonia, or the bubonic plague.
• Scrape off your taste buds with a straight razor.
• Get hooked on crack, speed, or methamphetamine.
• Chop off a limb or two, but make sure to purchase dismemberment insurance first. The larger the limb, the greater the weight loss.
• Squeeze out massive pus tumor on your back.
• Remove excess organs: appendix, tonsils, one kidney, etc.

I have one query for those who find these tips extreme: How badly do you really want to be skinny?!

Entry filed under: Health and Beauty. Tags: Beauty, Fitness, Health, Satire.