Posts filed under ‘Health and Beauty’

Light and Truth: Exhibit D

Metoo

October 25, 2017 at 10:37 pm Leave a comment

Excerpt from “Men Behaving Badly”

He brought over a 2007 Riesling and home-cooked tomatillo lime snapper.

“No wonder you texted me to heat up the oven. I was confused because you said I didn’t have to cook tonight, so I thought maybe you’d changed your mind. How long does this need to stay in?”

“Four minutes and twenty-three seconds–give or take.” He grinned with gentle confidence.

“Four minutes and twenty-three seconds it is!”

“I’ve barely had a chance to eat all day, but I wouldn’t mind dessert first.” He winked and gestured toward her bedroom.

“I’d totally be down . . . but it’s that time of the month, and we’ve only been dating for a few weeks, so I’m not quite comfortable with that yet.”

“You still get your period?”

 

September 19, 2017 at 9:16 pm Leave a comment

Excerpt from “Who Wants to Marry a Savant?”

Oozing with insecurity
I couldn’t live in the moment,
Couldn’t embrace my own divinity

I burst into tears
When he compared me to a statue at the Louvre.

Louvre.jpg

July 4, 2017 at 12:15 am Leave a comment

Excerpt from “Who Wants to Marry a Savant?”

 

IMG_0943

“As you well know, being passive aggressive is not being assertive . . . ” Dr. Kim paused and gazed pensively at the ceiling. He folded his hands into his lap and continued: “But what few people realize is that being aggressive is also not being assertive. Passive aggressiveness and aggressiveness are on opposite sides of the spectrum. Assertiveness is in the happy middle.”

April 24, 2017 at 11:17 pm Leave a comment

Excerpt from “Who Wants to Marry a Savant?”

He couldn’t decide whether he wanted to knock me up or blow my brains out.

Or both.deranged_film poster

September 29, 2016 at 11:08 pm Leave a comment

Excerpt from “Who Wants to Marry a Savant?”

David N. and I enjoyed exchanging dating horror stories as foreplay. On the precipice of afternoon delight, we rolled around under his sheets (never before had I experienced the feel of super high thread count).

“Oh my god, you won’t believe how my last relationship ended.” I rolled my eyes in reminiscence while clutching David’s shoulders.

“Probably not as badly as when Meredith torched my Beemer.” He smiled and tightened our embrace.

“I’m glad you have a sense of humor about it. I just don’t understand why you never pressed charges.”

“That would’ve meant I’d have to keep dealing with that bitch. And there’d be a public record of the shit she put me through.”

“Fair enough.”

“So what did that dick munch do anyway? Didn’t you tell me you thought he was The One at some point?”

“Nate seemed like a real catch. That is until he got back with his ex. And here’s the thing: I mean, you know I’m not superficial or arrogant . . . but this girl was like a three, maybe a four, soaking wet.”

“Yeah. That’s pretty fucking ridiculous. You’re at least a seven.”

July 2, 2016 at 1:55 am Leave a comment

Excerpt from “Safe Mode”

The opposite of numb (but perhaps with the same result), I plunged so deeply into depression I couldn’t:

drive myself home
pick up a fork
wash my hair
erase my smeared makeup
brush my teeth
swallow 150 mg of relief
pack a bowl
check Facebook
cry
pray
masturbate.

August 11, 2015 at 9:44 pm Leave a comment

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