Posts filed under ‘Law School’
Excerpt from “Who Wants to Marry a Savant?”
I was attempting to work on the manuscript for Men Behaving Badly when Edgar showed up unannounced (as per usual). I never minded his spontaneous visits, and I didn’t realize—until it was too late—how much I looked forward to them. He plopped down in his usual spot on the futon.
“You know, Edgar, I misunderstood the saying that revenge is a dish best served cold.”
“Have you been reading Stieg Larsson lately?”
“I don’t just get these ideas from literature and film. Give me some credit, man!”
“I always do.”
“You’re right. But, yeah, I just figured out what it meant right before you came over.”
“What did you think it meant?”
“I used to think it meant that it’s best to avenge a wrong as ruthlessly and with as cold a heart as possible.” I paused pregnantly.
“But I just realized the coldness relates to the passage of time.”
“I think you’re right on both counts, actually.” Edgar nodded pensively. “Of course, if you want to get revenge through the justice system, coldness isn’t so desirable what with statutes of limitation and all.”
“Fuck statutes! What these guys have in store is extra-legal (but neither illegal nor violent…we have too much to lose, and we’re more creative than that). Their lives will transform overnight without the slightest notice. Just like mine did. But, unlike me, they will have no recourse.”
“Sounds delicious.” Edgar’s pupils dilated with interest. “It’s been over 10 years. When can we get started?”
“We already have.”
“Oh, that’s right. I’m sure it has something to do with sending Tex that letter reminding him he’d have to pass the Moral Character Evaluation to become an attorney.”
“Nope. That was just our public duty and has nothing to do with revenge. That’s why we sent it as soon as we discovered his plan to follow his father’s footsteps at Harvard Law School. Not part of the revenge. No need to serve cold. Hey, wanna drink?” I gestured toward the kitchen.
“Sure, thanks.” Edgar popped the cork off my half-full bottle of pinot noir. “So, what’s next with respect to revenge?”
“There’re some clean glasses in the sink.”
“Coolness.” Edgar split the remainder of the bottle between the two of us. “I’m all ears.”
“How far can you run without stopping? How much can you bench press, squat, or the equivalent?”
“I thought you just said this wouldn’t involve violence or criminality?”
“Oh, it won’t. We just need to be and look like we’re in tip-top shape. We just need to signal that we’re as formidable physically as we are intellectually and psychologically.”
“In that case, I’ve got my work cut out for me. But I’m game. Tell me more.” He raised his glass and smiled with boundless intrigue.
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Excerpt from “Under Pressure: The UCI Law School Musical”
NARRATOR: Law school, even “the ideal law school for the 21st century,” has a tendency to bring out the worst in people, particularly as finals approach (which basically applies to every day (except maybe during orientation). Although I made a lot of lifelong friends and opened many doors, law school became quite a struggle, especially during the final semester. The most common problematic themes I witnessed during my three-year stint were entitlement, lack of self-reflection, hidden insecurities, “Mean Girl” behavior, and . . . oh yes . . . greed.
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
BRAD: Thank you so much for meeting with me, Ricky. I really appreciate you taking time from your busy schedule.
RICKY: No problem! Actually, things are super chill this year, what with my federal clerkship and firm job taken care of. I don’t even bother to go to any of my classes. What are they gonna do . . . not let me graduate and help boost this school’s graduation rate and reputation?
BRAD: That’s exactly why I think you’re the guy to talk to. I mean, some of the 3Ls have positions with A-/B+ firms. But Remington, Orr, Young, Gibson, Boyd, Irving & Vance is an A+ firm.
RICKY: Well, you’re right about that. Quite frankly, I didn’t come to law school to work 80 plus hours a week for an A- or—God forbid—B+ firm. Besides, the A+ firms have the deepest pockets. [winks]
[dollar signs flash in BRAD’s eyes]
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Lolly’s Top 5 Hip Hop Hits of 2010
See also Lolly’s Top 5 Hip Hop Hits of 2008 and 2009. Coming very soon: Lolly’s Top 5 Hip Hop Hits of 2011!
I have no life. Law school is my controlling, jealous, guilt-tripping mistress/mister. I have been meaning to finish this post since December of 2010! The one thing I always have time for is listening to the radio on my commute to and from school. While top 40 stations leave a lot to be desired, they always have a steady supply of upbeat hip hot hits.
2010 was an incredible year for hip hop!! Eminem solidified his professional and personal comeback with his June 21 release of Recovery. “Not Afraid” and “Love the Way You Lie” (featuring Rihanna) topped the charts, and his other singles and collaborations also enjoyed much success. Rihanna and Beyoncé continued to excel popularly and critically. Kanye West graduated with a PhD from Hip Hop University, and Runaway was his dissertation (Runaway transcends categorization and ranking, so it is not included in the Top 5). Hip hop dominated top 40 charts, and many of the hits were memorable. Below are my five favorite hits from 2010:
Runner-ups: “Nothin’ on You” by B.o.B. featuring Bruno Mars, “Bottoms Up” by Trey Songz featuring Nicki Minaj, “My Chick Bad” by Ludacris featuring Nicki Minaj, “Fuck You” by Cee Lo Green, “Hey Baby (Drop It to the Floor)” by Pitbull featuring T-Pain
#5 Young Money featuring Lloyd − “Bedrock”
#4 Far*East Movement featuring Cataracs and Dev − “Like a G6”
#3 Kid Cudi featuring MGMT − “Pursuit of Happiness”
#2 Nicki Minaj − “Your Love”
#1 Chris Brown featuring Tyga and Kevin McCall — “Deuces”
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The LG Curve
I recently asked one of my law school classmates if he had heard of the “LG Curve.” He shook his head and said, “I took statistics in college, so I should remember, but…”
When I realized he was slightly embarrassed about his “ignorance,” I confessed it was the perfect curve, created by yours truly.
The curve at UCI Law is seemingly generous because B+ is the mandatory median. This is only generous, however, if most students are okay with the fact that they are more likely than not going to end up in the 3.3 vicinity. It’s also only generous if few grades fall below the median. One of my first-year professors described his curve as “beautiful.” I thought, “Honey, that curve ain’t beautiful unless I’ve got an A on it!”
In my perfectly unbiased opinion, the LG Curve is the best way to go because it manages to adhere to the mandatory median while still giving students the benefit of the doubt. I suggested it to Dean Chemerinsky last semester, and he seemed open-minded. I actually think he uses a similar curve. Well, naturally!
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Lies About the 1L Experience
“If you’re a good writer, you’ll have a huge advantage as a student.”
Most first-year legal writing is almost entirely devoid of creativity and requires a penchant for monotony and verbosity. Even during second semester exams, I was very distracted by my instinct to write good prose. On a timed exam, your spelling, grammar, diction, and syntax aren’t worth a damn. And for every second you spend thinking about how to rephrase something so it flows better, you’re losing precious, precious points.
“You should learn to think beyond the legal doctrine.”
Professors will tell you it’s not about the black letter law, but it really is. And it’s about IRAC (Issue, Rule, Application, Conclusion). That’s it. Nothing else really matters. The most fascinating things—policy concerns, socioeconomic implications, historical backgrounds—are rarely tested and, for all intents and purposes, irrelevant during the first year.
“Having a life is not mutually exclusive with being a 1L.”
You can have a life. People do it. But those people do not get very much sleep, or they simply do not care about their grades, or they never had lives to begin with. To really have a life as a 1L, you have to…painstakingly…carve…out…your…opportunities.
But, hey, at least it’s not med school!
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Help Wanted (2010)
This California schoolgirl
Feels like Tom Hanks in Big
Dreams of purging and flying
Is at once worldly and naïve
Lacks bargaining power
Needs agency.
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The Lollygabber 
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